This site did not show evidence of storing passwords in plaintext.
This site does allow secured connections (https)
This site did show a clear way to unsubscribe from their emails
This site does verify your email address.
Membership Emails
Below is a sample of the emails you can expect to receive when signed up to Pit Viper Sunglasses.
They''re STILL IN STOCK! Bet you didn''t expect that did you? Go ahead. Check them out. You know you want to.?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Eight months ago we launched a?ground breaking invention known as? GOGGL?S.
Launching ski goggles at the end of winter? AND right before all the mountains closed for a global pandemic?? ?
BRILLIANT!
(you bet your ass Marketing got a raise after that one) ?
Looking back,?I think we just wanted to bring you the most impressive video we''ve ever made.
"GOGGL?S: THE MUSIC VIDEO"
WATCH NOW
Those were good times. Maybe we should RE-RELEASE them. Maybe the world needs something to celebrate.?
RE-INTRODUCING: GOGGL?S Specifically designed to block champagne spray from the eyes of World Champions.
For looks, for protection, for comfort, and for champagne spray, there''s nothing like Goggl?s.
Except for our sunglasses, which check those boxes too.
GOGGL?S
While we''re on a roll, let''s release another piece of winter gear before winter passes.?
That''s what a "Real Business" would do right?
INTRODUCING: The EXTREME PRO?GLOVE The official glove of family vacations,?unexpected vibrations, eternal damnations, and champagne celebrations.?
GET YOUR BOTTLES POPPIN
THE NEXT TIME YOU HEAR FROM ME, WE''LL BE RESTOCKING. GET YOUR MOM''S CREDIT CARD READY, AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON''T? Unsubscribe .? 159 W Haven Ave, South Salt Lake City, UT 84115
YOU WANTED SHIT TO BUY. YOU''RE GONNA GET SHIT TO BUY. AND LOTS OF IT.????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
https://shittyhats.com/
you''ve been waiting. you''ve been wishing. you''ve been wondering.
So?finally?we''re restocking
31?NEW SHITTY HATS
MORE HATS?THAN EVER BEFORE
WITH MORE SHIT ON THE LINE
so much... so much shit
THIS IS A COMPETITION, IT''S UP TO YOU TO DECIDE THE WINNER.
1.?EVERY "EMPLOYEE"?AT PIT VIPER DESIGNS A HAT
?
TWO:ONLY 141?OF EACH ARE MADE. ONLY 141?OF EACH WILL BE SOLD.
AND THEY''RE ALL GOING ON SALE?RIGHT NOW at SHITTYHATS.COM ?
there is shit seeping out of the cracks in our office
some dripped on me earlier and i thought it was bbq sauce from brian''s lunch
Where was I at?3:?
THE FIRST HAT TO SELL OUT WINS
Wins what? GLORY? SLEEP? THE LAST BEER IN THE OFFICE FRIDGE? COLD HARD CASH?
I''LL NEVER TELL!
i licked it. i shouldnt have done that.?
BUY THESE SUCKERS OR WE WON''T HAVE ROOM IN OUR WAREHOUSE FOR SUNGLASSES
Add info@pitvipersunglasses.com to your address book to keep us out of your spam folder.? WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING THESE GODDAMN SHITTY HATS? YOU COULD HAVE RESTOCKED BY NOW. FUCK IT. I''M DONE. I''M Unsubscribe -ing, SO I CAN MISS THE RESTOCK EMAIL COMING NEXT MONTH.
What are you looking down here for?? Open the damn email and find out.????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
?GERMS ARE OUT THERE. AND THEY CAN KILL. PLUS, THEY''RE GROSS. NOBODY LIKES GETTING SNEEZED ON.
Except Brian. He''s an odd one. Let''s just... not talk about that. Not here.
YOU''RE PROTECTING YOUR EYES WITH PIT VIPERS.
Get the SIX STYLES STILL IN STOCK while you can.
YOU''RE PROTECTING YOUR LOWER FACE WITH MASKS.
BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SCULPTED HOT HAIRLESS FIRM BODY?
TIGHT. MUSCULAR. GLISTENING. PULSATING.
Okay I''m getting carried away sorry.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR BODY? SWEAT ESCAPES FROM PORES. WHAT IF SNOT CAN GET IN THOSE SAME PORES?
I don''t know I''m not a fuckin doctor.
ALL I KNOW IS OUR NEW SCUBA SAFARI BREEZERS ARE IN. USE THEM TO PROTECT YOUR NECK, YOUR BACK, YOUR PUPPY, AND YOUR CRACK.
"A HELMET FOR YOUR BODY"?- SOMETHING TRAVIS PASTRANA MIGHT SAY.
DON''T LET GERMS TOUCH FOR FREE. WE''RE PIT VIPER, AND WE CARE ABOUT YOUR SAFETY.
SOLD! Say "PROTECT ME, PIT VIPER" out loud and click this button.
We love you but we are not medical experts. If you''re looking for that, talk to my brother, he''s the successful one apparently. And if what I do isn''t good enough for you dad, maybe you should just Unsubscribe .? 159 W Haven Ave, South Salt Lake City, UT 84115
We put so much time and effort into RESTOCKtoberfest. ?
But here''s the thing.
They sell out so fast I''m starting to think no one even RESTOCKS, I mean, reads these emails.
Like, I could let my dog write these things.
As long as I put a?
TAKE ME TO THE SITE!
button somewhere.
You wouldn''t even notice if I said something like
woof woof bark bark?Hot Tropics are running late, but they''ll be back in a few weeks woof bark arf growl sniff fart
FULL TURBO!
LET''S GO SHOP THE RESTOCK
FINAL WARNING: THESE STYLES WILL SELL OUT VERY QUICKLY. THEY WILL NOT BE BACK BEFORE THE HOLIDAYS. IF YOU WANT THEM, BUY THEM TODAY. ?
If you fuck up Christmas, that''s on you. We warned you. Looking down here for the Unsubscribe button out of spite, are ya? You sneaky little possum. 159 W Haven Ave, South Salt Lake City, UT 84115
We know, you''ve been working from home for months now. Treat yourself to some NEW SHIRTS. Spice it up for your pizza delivery person.?
PIT VIPER x PARTY SHIRT INTERNATIONAL?
Guaranteed to get gasps and brand new for 2020, the Pit Viper x Party Shirt International collection features brand new SNAP button?technology. This is one shirt you can rip off over and over again. Little to no muscles required.
NOW THAT''S AN ENTRANCE
TWO NEW PERFORMANCE ENHANCING JERSEYS
Working in perfect harmony with your hot bod, the PV Sweat Tech Shirt and Line Choice MTB Jersey will bike, skate, run, scoot, and blow past the competition. The perfect shirt for however you get your athpleasure on.
ENHANCE ME DADDY
SUPER HOT SHIPPING BOYs- I mean uh-
SUPER MESH AND HOT MESH HATS
The mesh on our BRAND NEW HATS is?keeping our FLAMING HOT shipping team cool while they pack your boxes. Before you ask for their @''s, know that this crew is?more than just eye candy.?They''re hard working, funny, cheerful, and an essential part of our Pit Viper family. Please join us in thanking them for all the ROCK HARD hours they put in to keep us running. Shipping Team, we hired you for your looks but we''re keeping you around for your work ethic.?
THANK YOU SEXY SHIPPING TEAM
NOW SHIP ME SOME OF THIS NEW GEAR
Are our sweaty sensual shipping studs too stimulating for you? I guess you could? Unsubscribe and never see them ever again. I''ll tell them tho0ugh. And they''ll cry. 159 W Haven Ave, South Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Not just any car, a RACECAR. Did we save the best for last? Yes. Yes we did.????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Before we get to the fact that we are giving away a RACECAR, my boss wanted me to remind you:?
You have until midnight tonight MOUNTAIN STANDARD TIME to get the best and final deal of the year.
20% OFF THE ENTIRE SITE BABY.
We have 8 styles left.?
"AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A SUNGLASS COMAPNY" - You
REMEMBER: THIS IS OUR BEST AND FINAL SALE OF 2020
Now on to the grand finale of:?
So far we''ve given away 6 vehicles, 2 trips, 15 minutes of fame, 1 shot at true love, 1 weapon, everything we make, and a lifetime''s supply of toilet paper.
MAN, WE''RE GOOD.
?
Our shipping team is on the verge of tears. ?
"Does anybody know how to ship 3,200 rolls of asswipes?" - Them
?
Our accountants have all quit.
"I should have left when you named that van the HPV." - Them
?
Our boss is drowning his sorrows in what can only be described as a crockpot full of whiskey and regrets.
But you all wanted more.
AND WE''RE GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU
?
Today, we''re doing what we do best: giving away another car.?
?
But she''s not just any car. She''s the car of choice for the 1996 NASCAR season. She''s the magnum opus of our wildest dreams. She''s better than sex and faster too. She is: a 1996 Thunderbird Racecar.?
AND SHE CAN BE YOURS
YOU KNOW THE DRILL BY NOW
ENTER TO WIN BEFORE MIDNIGHT TONIGHT
MOUNTAIN STANDARD TIME
DON''T FUCK IT UP
AND DON''T FORGET: 20% OFF SALE ENDS TONGIHT
You''re probably looking down here for the forward button to send this to your grandma so she can win a racecar. It''s higher up, above the email. The only thing down here is this weird dusty Unsubscribe button.
Congratulations, you''ve just made a very smart decision. By signing up for our email newsletter, you''re now a part of Pit Viper''s Agency Concerning Rival?Obliteration N'' Your Mom (ACRONYM).?Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to help us achieve complete and total World Domination. First things first, let''s get you up to speed:
The year is 1712, except 300 years later. Professional ski actor Chuck Mumford''s extreme lifestyle proves to be too much for any?"high end sport sunglasses" available on the market. Inspired by the failure of others, he begins to build something stronger, more powerful, more adjustable, more... better.
As preliminary lab and field tests yield successful results, he arms himself with cans of spray paint and the eye of an artist to give them the patented Finishing TouchT. Teaming up with international man of mystery, Chris Garcin, the duo released their?colorful creations into the wild, where they flourished, made love, and multiplied, giving us today''s modern Pit Viper. You are now a part of that history. The only thing left to do is get your face between a pair.?
Talk to your doctor to find out which Pit Viper is right for you. Or check out our?printable Size Guide.?Warning: light transmission on Paper Vipers is 0%.?
SIZE GUIDE
Demand Respect & Authority,
Pit Viper
Trying to find the unsubscribe button? Good luck!! Unsubscribe.
New Pit Viper x Hand Up Gloves - For much more than biking. Caress, Tickle, Stroke, Squeeze, Slap your way with style.
I''m here to show you some of the?things you can touch with the new
PIT VIPER x HAND UP GLOVES
THIS GUY.
You can''t just go around feeling up every avocado in the store anymore. Use protection.
MELONS.
Single layer design allows you to get an accurate squeeze.
OTHER HANDS.
Synthetic leather palms?and rubber decals enhance your business grip.
BEAUTIFUL THINGS.
Caress everything you love.
A TWO TON MACHINE.
Speedy graphics make your?neighborhood feel like a race way.
HOLD UP
Oh SHIT.
OH NO
no no no no no
NEW PIT VIPER x HAND UP GLOVES
Davis is fine. I brought him back to life and we ended up getting married. The ring looked really good on my new Pit Viper x Hand Up glove. Please don''t Unsubscribe .? 159 W Haven Ave, South Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Text Box
Arts and Entertainment
Business and Industry
Computer and Electronics
Games
Health
Internet and Telecom
Shopping
Sports
Travel
More