Blog Blatherings
Relationship Calculus
No one wants to believe we're making a value judgement with every relationship we're in. It feels impersonal. It feels like, if the other person doesn't measure up, we'll cut them out of our lives. That in turn means they may choose to cut us out of their lives. It a yucky feeling that no one wants to feel. Despite this, there is a calculus that we're unconsciously performing when we're in relationships. We're evaluating whether this relationship is something we want to continue or not.
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Book Review-The Years That Matter Most: How College Makes or Breaks Us
Inflection points matter. They're the one time when a left turn really matters from a right turn. Paul Tough's thesis is that "mobility in the United States today depends in large part on what happens to individuals during a relatively period in late adolescence and early adulthood." More specifically, he believes the college we go to can make a life-altering difference to our social mobility. It's a position he lays out in?The Years That Matter Most: How College Makes or Breaks Us.
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Conflict: Humility
We live in a time of arrogance. We live when people believe they're better than other people, and they're entitled to more of the world's riches than anyone else. In this kind of a world, we're left with conflicts, as people fight for more than their fair share (despite believing they deserve it). We're left with a world where people struggle to have respect for one another. The result is more pointless conflict that doesn't serve to make people better or more whole.
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Book Review-Relationship-Based Care: A Model for Transforming Practice
Healthcare isn't sausage-making. In sausage-making, "what's in there" doesn't matter. It's simply that it tastes good. In fact, most people don't want to know about the sausage-making process. However, in healthcare, we're talking about people, and the process matters. That's the heart of?Relationship-Based Care: A Model for Transforming Practice?- an understanding that the process of delivering care is important and the best way to do that is by recognizing the importance of relationships.
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Conflict: Detachment not Disengagement
Most people don't really want to have a conflict. It takes time, effort, and mental energy to even be in the conflict, and in our busy worlds, it's more than most people want to deal with. Too often, conflicts seem to disappear before they can be dealt with only to reappear someplace else in the future. Too often, we disengage from a conflict rather than gain detachment from it.
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Book Review-No Ego: How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement, and Drive Big Results
It started with the liars. They'd ask, "Do you have a minute?" They'd plop themselves down in the comfy guest chair and proceed to take about 45 minutes. That's what kicked off Cy Wakeman's quest and led to?No Ego: How Leaders Can Cut the Cost of Workplace Drama, End Entitlement, and Drive Big Results. The frustration with the status quo and the conventional wisdom about how to deal with employees led Wakeman to a very contrary view about what can and should be done to create organizations that deliver results.
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Conflict: Personal Agency and Compassion
If you want to make conflict easier - and you don't have the ability to build trust and relationships with the people involved ahead of time - there are still things you can do. You can work on you. Working on you means developing an appropriate sense of personal agency and cultivating compassion.
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Book Review-Critical Knowledge Transfer: Tools for Managing Your Company's Deep Smarts
What is it that makes one person more valuable to an organization than another? Take two engineers with the same degrees from the same universities and even the same grade point average. One is invaluable to the organization, and the other is just a solid contributor. One just seems to know things the other doesn't. When considering how to make the knowledge of the organization more accessible, it's in the organization's best interest to highlight the more knowledgeable of the two. However, how can you determine that?
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Conflict: Is it Fair?
The parent sets a boundary, says no, and the child retorts, "But, it's not fair." The parent certainly thinks it's reasonable and fair, but the perspective of the child is different. So, who's right? How do you define fair in any situation? The gap in perceptions between two people and what they believe is fair is generally right at the heart of the conflict.
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Book Review-This is Marketing: You Can't Be Seen Until You Learn to See
In?This is Marketing: You Can't Be Seen Until You Learn to See, Seth Godin builds on his other writing and tries to explain marketing today. When it comes to marketing, he is about as popular as it gets. His writing spans decades, and he's worked with some of the other leading marketing authors, including Jay Levinson in an early version of?Guerrilla Marketing. In?Tribes, he calls out his strategy for creating a following. In?This is Marketing, he widens the field to explain why he believes tribes are necessary and how they fit into marketing objectives.
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Conflict: The Value
There is a tendency to view conflict in a negative light. After all, we typically only focus on the conflicts we have that have gone poorly. We only lament about those that didn't end well. However, the truth is that conflict is a necessary part of all our lives. When we look at conflict through a more wholistic lens, we can see how it's neither positive nor negative.
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